Daggy sure has been opening up new cans of stupid all over the place.
First, he pushes his crap coming out in Nova. First of all, who the hell is Nova? Well, after a little research–you know, Daggy, research–I found them to be, well, a big, fat NOBODY.
If you want a whole lotta crazy, read their guidelines; they actually want you to send them proof of your education, so that they can consider your work and pay you half a cent a word–below semi-pro rates.
Okay. Sure. I’m gonna prove myself to some little nobody publication that can’t even pay properly. NOT! Who do they think they are? Asimov’s?
Wait. It gets better. Next, he tries to give Vern, publisher of Phobia, some advice on blurbs. HUH? He tries to get Vern to see how the positive review he got from someone was not worth having. Now, that is rich coming from a nobody like Dagstine. Dagstine first needs to be recognised as a name and not the jackass he is.
Seriously, Daggy, everyone I know in “da industree” has no clue who you are. The odd few who have heard your name think you are a moron.
If you’re thinking of starting a magazine, don’t. You tried that once and look what happened.
You’re toast, Daggy. Dry and unwanted.
And the best of all–this: Daggy pimps Satirica as being nominated for an IPPY Award, as if that were some great feet.
First, Dagstine, you cannot be nominated for an IPPY.
What happens is you pay money to enter a book. So the guy who put together Satirica paid up. Then, you simply wait to see if you won first, second or third place. THERE ARE NO NOMINATIONS!
You pay and they say yes or no to your work. Simple as that.
The fact the someone like Harvard Press can enter does not give it legitimacy. You’re still paying money, and no respectable award asks you to pay money.
Next up, Daggy’s new story, “Plague Planet”. Get ready for a bowel moving experience.
Delusional Dagstine and Samsdot
March 10, 2009
A Johaha Team Update:
Well, Lawrence Dagstine is spewing the shit all over the place today.
In his thread at Whispers of Wickedness, Daggy states: ” Sam’s Dot Publishing has come a long way in the last ten years, its authors being nominated for such awards as the Nebula, the Hugo,”
http://www.ookami.co.uk/forumpage/viewtopic.php?f=20&t=33&start=50
Uh, that is NOT really the truth. Samsdot publications have not been nominated for any major awards because they have never gotten beyond the rigorous voting process that leads to nomination.
Oh, they may have the odd Hugo winning author, but no author in a Samsdot publication has won with a piece in a Samdot publication.
Once again, Dagstine doens’t know his facts.
And the good people at Whispers know Daggy is talking shit, too. They know how the voting process works. Daggy does not.
To be fair, one or two authors have won the Rysling Award for SF Poetry, but that is no big deal.
In regard to writing, he likes to think he knows how to get it done and succeed. Larry uses a rather stupid analogy here and states: “If someone tells you there is only one way to cross a street, well, you and I both know that that is ridiculous…”
Again, no. There is only one way to cross the street and that is straight across. Not sideways or zig-zag, but straight across to the PROS.
If you want to be successful in the PROS, submit to the PROS and don’t stop until you get in. Credits from non-paying or token paying markets won’t help you any.
And no disrespect to small publishers like Samsdot, but it is next to impossible that a small press will get you into the PROS. They don’t have the money, the clout or connections to advance your career.
Larry is about to learn that the small press will be about as successful as his self-published books at xlibris.
Get a clue, Larry.
Daggy Equals Dumbass
February 25, 2009
You’ve got to love this guy’s tenacity. Like the Energizer Bunny, he keeps going and going.
Okay, maybe not so cute as the Energizer Bunny; maybe a balding, fat, closet homo, self-interested evil bunny.
His latest is to terrorize handicapped women and mentor new writers too innocent to realize who they are dealing with. The idea of this guy mentoring anyone with the skills of writing is laughable, considering Daggy’s own writing is so bad he actually PAYS someone to edit his work and make it readable.
Pay? Yes, pay. If he is on benefits, as he once claimed, then how can he afford to pay someone a few hundred to edit–or rather rewrite–his work? As Mike Brenden astutely observed:
“ Given one page equals 250, by her formula, a 20 page story costs $120 on average if she charges by the page, $350 if she charges by the word.
On average she charges seven cents per word, which even if Daggy sold said work to a pro paying market (by SFWA rules), he’s out $100!
And yet he claims to make money…”
Since his only appearances seem to be free markets, or markets that pay peanuts,there is no way he can afford this. Maybe he used the illusionary $1000 for his fake Coney Island gig.
If he is so hard up for cash, getting money from family, welfare, then he can’t afford to pay out like this.
Daggy, feed your family, for God’s sake! And get a fucking job, you mooch!
Smacking The Monkey, Daggy-style
February 20, 2009
Well, girlfriends are great, particularly those who let you use their computers.
Daggy may have put my friendship with my land lord in jeopardy, but life goes on.
With that in mind, time for an update. (My friend/landlord is going to hate me for continuing this blog, but again, life goes on…To be fair I can’t update all the time, and Rusty and others are better at it than I…)
” I know there’s one rumor going around where my name is supposedly Lorenzo and I’m Italian-American”
—Daggy’s been wondering why rumours have been going around that his name is Lorenzo D’Agostino. Well……that’s because it is!
“I never stalked Rusty Nail“
—Really? Have you forgotten this?
http://therustynail.wordpress.com/2008/06/26/have-a-hanky/#comments
He seems to forget that all his words are screen saved.
Next, he goes to a museum to do research into Egypt and he thinks that will help him write an Egypt-themed story. Uh-huh.
“Will it have lots of mummies and real mystery?”
—Mystery? Not if you’re writing it.
“Will it involve Cleopatra?”
—Who cares?
“Will it showcase ancient gods and pyramids in an adventure the likes you’ve never read?”
––If experience is anything to go by, then whatever you write I guarantee I’ve read it before.
“Sound juicy so far?”
––About as juicy as that fart I just ripped.
“Well, you better stay tuned then…”
—–*grabs remote and switches channels*
And in a bid to get us all excited, dig this. Look at this awful fucking cover for his Samsdot “book”. Yeah, I use the word “book” lightly.
http://www.ookami.co.uk/forumpage/viewtopic.php?f=20&t=33&start=50
If I were him, I’d fire the artist. What a load of cheesy crap. It’s like those bad sci fi movies they make for the sci fi channel. BAD.
But hey, I mustn’t be too hard on the guy.He’s got “fans” all over. A “real” book. He got paid $1000 for a project on Coney Island—oh, then he backtracked and said he hadn’t been paid… He’s an expert on Egypt because he went to a museum for a day. He’s an expert on polio and cancer. He never stalked or threatened anyone. He never turned my friend against me.
Of course he didn’t.
Strangle-hold? Not Just Yet.
January 22, 2009
Say it isn’t so? Johaha is down for the count? Out the door and in the street? Has he been put in a strangle hold from which he might never recover?
Well, Daggy is an inventive chap, I must say. He managed to infiltrate my landlord and friend and work his dark magic upon his soul. My actions are now suspect. I’ve been put on limited access to the net. Good work Daggy, I must admit.
What I can’t see is how my friend could be taken in by this guy, after all the crap he put him through in the past. How could my friend be so stupid?
The score: manages to get my friend and landlord to limit my access to the internet and make my friend suspicious of my motives. Daggy gets one point.
HOWEVER: there are always internet cafes. I also have other friends who let me hop on their computers. There are also the other members of the Johaha Team who can carry on without me being online. Johaha Team gets two points.
And there is always Rusty to rely on:
http://therustynail.wordpress.com/2009/01/22/dagstine-eats-his-own-foot/#more-2983
Strangle-hold? Almost. Almost. I must admit my legs did jerk there for a minute and my face turn blue…
But I’m still breathing.
Daggy Soapbox and Revelations
January 10, 2009
With a new year comes new laugh-out-loud bullshit.
So, after promising yet again to quit writing short fiction, and giving us his childish rantings on the new Doctor, Dagstine returns to tell us he has a story coming out in Polluto, the anti-pop journal.
http://lawrencedagstine.com/
First, he’ll be back. This guy’s told more lies than the boy who cried wolf.
Second, his rantings on the new Doctor are misplaced. So Matt is an unknown? So was David Tennant until he took over the role.
Third, I feel bad for Polluto. I have it on good authority that the only reason they did not drop his ass is the contract they made “in good faith”–not to mention a good threat leveled at him to try and get him to stop harassing people. If Dagstine’s sudden bouts of silence are any sign, it seems to have worked, so far.
Personally, I don’t see “good faith” as a reason to keep as ass. (Would you want to publish a guy who has threatened, harassed stalked and tormented others?) I’ve known companies to break contracts made in good faith before and survive. So, I think this reasons was a weak one, but so be it.
However, the good news is that it seems this is the first and last time this Nitwit will grace their pages. Polluto are published by a good company. They can do better than that cliched hack.
The Johaha Team wish you a happy new year.
Dagstine Gets It So Wrong–Again
November 24, 2008
To think this guy couldn’t get any stupider, Dagstine goes an reviews his own work at Amazon.
http://www.amazon.com/review/R2W8VN9FASNRVZ/ref=cm_aya_cmt?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=0981685307#wasThisHelpful
Nothing says “I’m an amateur” like reviewing your own book. As a customer, would I really buy a book from the author who states it is “a must own collection for any enthusiast of the literary form” ?
Answer: No. And no self-respecting customer would. I want judgement from a reliable, outside source, not drivel from the guy who thinks he’s the next big thing to change “da genrah”. And if I want literature, you can guarantee I won’t be poking around in Daggy’s back yard for it.
And tell me, what the blue fuck is this supposed to mean: “Many of the authors within its pages are certified and proven professionals and semi-professionals with a track record from a long range of magazines and webzines”
I had no idea authors were certified. Is the government regulating authors? That’s news to me.
What it is, is stupid-speak. And proof of how retarded this guys is. (Me thinks the gene pool needs a little cleaning…) The editor got lucky in getting two big names in, but in time they’ll wish they hadn’t gotten involved with these jokers.
How do we know it is Dagstine? His style is the same: the same sentence errors, the same misuse of all capitals, etc… And although he does not write his name on the review, his reviewer’s profile page leads us, of course , to dumbo Dagstine. Nothing like covering your tracks, hey dickweed?
This part is pure comedy gold:”The authors are from all corners of this world, so if you feel the spelling is off at times, you are simply reading them in the wrong country.”
WTF? First, a professional editor would insist on either British or American spelling. Never both.
Second, it sounds as if he is trying to justify such a major error by placing blame on the reader. Yeah, because that works…
These types are all the same delusion: they believe all they need to do is come up with a book, slap it on Amazon, write your own review for it, and it will somehow be credible and magically sell millions. It takes more thinking and planning than that to sell a book. But then again, thinking and planning were never words that could describe Nitwits.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to take a dump, because it has to be more entertaining than this fool’s erroneous fantasies.
Dagstine Fails Reading Comprehension
November 8, 2008
In yet another example of Dagstine’s poor comprehension skills, Dag the Dog is crowing about how his story was well-received by sfcrowsnest.
Of course, it is not a real review. In fact, it says nothing at all about his story other than it might be worth reading. The author of the review goes on to merely retell the plot of the story. No big deal there. But that is not a review. While he does state that the story was a “bit twee”, that is his only remark on Dagstine’s story that comes close to being review quality.
So what is this so-called review? What we call that in the real world of pubishing is “a small mention”.
And while the story was called “well-written” that does not mean it was conceptually and thematically a great work.
It wasn’t well-written. It was well-edited. There is a difference.
For misinterpreting what was read and for not knowing what a review is, you fail again.
GRADE: F
It’s About Time…
October 30, 2008
No, I’m not talking about the gay Time Lord or David Tennant leaving the role, you douchbag, Daggy. But I’ll get to you in a minute…
Yeah, it was about time I paid attention to my blog. After all, there would be no haha without Johaha, smasher of self-centred wannabies. I hope to post thoughts, feelings, ideas, rants about all the things I find funny, stupid or just plain tick me off.
Like this butthurt fool, Dagstine. Dagstine likes to stalk, threaten and mess around with professional authors and commentators he cannot hope to compete with. More of that to come.
That’s what a blog is for, right?
So without further ado, here’s looking at you, Daggy!
